CSD Is Dead! Long Live The Savage Kitchen!

In a brutal and grotesque fit, I terminated the short-lived food blog known as CSD Foodstuffs with extreme prejudice. It was a quiet death, which was fitting since CSD lived a relatively quiet life. A multitude of issues concerning direction and identity kept this little blog that could from reaching worldwide appeal. And let's face it, the name was a mouthful. CSD Foodstuffs, it kind of sounds like the textbook you find in the bargain bin at the local Borders. Certainly nothing a person inspired by it's ramblings would feel good telling someone else about. It was doomed from the start, dead man walking and all of that.

But, like a bad horror film, the beast always rises again. And from the bland and colorless ashes of CSD arises the Savage Kitchen. A blog committed to the same ideals as CSD, but with a bit more of the patented "charming fury" I'm so known for. So from here on out, whenever I refer to this blog, I will be referring to The Savage Kitchen. Any posts from beyond this date that I previously referred to CSD Foodstuffs will now be referring to The Savage Kitchen. Get it? Got it? Good.

With the change in name and style, comes the newfound change in attitude. We still love food here like any good food blog, and we still cook as much as possible, but we do not treat our meal like a hobby. This is not something we do to kill time or amuse ourselves, food is life people! We do it or we starve. And for too long we've let other people govern our lives. The huge food conglomerates who feed us chemically altered patties than once resembled cows, the chirpy food cooks on Food Network who spend more time smiling in your face than showing you how to cook, and the multitudes of food blogs out there of people showing pretty pictures of their creations. These things do not sustain.

Our life is in our hands people. We decide what goes into our mouths and keeps us warm and well fed. And if we can desire a food, then we can make it. I have no doubt in my mind that each and every one of you out there is capable of making a superb meal that costs significantly less than what you'd pay at a restaurant, and will treat your body better than anything on the dollar menus of the world.

The desire to do so is yours. The ideals necessary to put those desires to the test? Well, that's where we come in. CSD Foodstuffs is dead, long live The Savage Kitchen.

Editor's Dilemma

So I'm sitting on a bit of a conundrum here.

On the one hand, I really wanted CSD to be an open venue. This was never designed to be a blog that catered to an age group or demographic. I wanted all takers to come in here and partake of all things food. Whether you're a housewife or grad student, consummate professional or occasional home cook, I wanted you to feel welcome. Take in some of what I've learned, and what I'm still learning, and hope that it somehow gets you pumped up to spend a bit more time in your own kitchens.

Now on the other hand, I'm an outspoken fiend with a tendency to be over-the-top with what I write on a page. Anyone who knows me, and anyone who's ever read even a few paragraphs of what I talk about, knows that I'm quite the animated chap. I talk too loud for too long, bouncing between Hunter Thompson-esque hysteria and Henry Rollins-esque aggressiveness. I am, for all intensive purposes, an unapologetic handful.

Stranger still, is the fact that I actually teach this way too. Put me in front of an eager group to learn, and I'm a madman. I will neglect resources designed to make my job easier if I think I can do it better, comment loudly on my displeasure with certain bits of "required curriculum," and find every possible way to cram information that I think is necessary into my students. Even if it means talking for far longer than anyone else of my ilk would, That's what I'll do. And I do it because I want my students to walk away understanding what I teach. Not just the buzz words that appear on the test, but why those things are important in the first place. Understanding means memory retention, people are more likely to remember things if they understand why they're done. But it also means confidence. And confidence is a powerful force when you're learning something.

This blog by it's very design, is an educational resource. A place where I wanted people of all walks of life to come to, read a bit, then wander into their own kitchens excited to create. As such, I've been very neutral in my posts, not wanting to offend anyone who might stumble on to this blog looking for a little culinary amusement. I have sat staring at the screen for many a night, trying to think of new ways to word things so that everyone feels at home. In a sense, I've gotten a bit "textbook" with these first few posts, basically turning everything I write into something you'd find in a cooking book at an elementary school library.

My tension with having to write posts in this neutral state has made it hard to actually write anything. Words tend to come pretty naturally to me (obviously,) but I've really never been one who's had to calculate how I say things. I've been lucky enough to get by without ever having to. And now, putting myself in a position where I have to select my words and rethink everything I would normally right, it just takes the wind out of my sails.

In the end, I just gotta be me.

So, after a very long spell of not writing for CSD, I am back at the helm, this time speaking the only way I know how to speak. The posts from here on out may get a bit cynical, possibly even a trifle snarky, but they will be passionate.

For those of you new newcomers who swing by this page and find my writing a bit strong, please don't be offended. I'm not mad at you, nor am I picking on you. I welcome your presence, your comments, and most importantly, the fact that you want to develop your skills in the kitchen. And hopefully, once you get past the wisecracks and dark attitude, you'll find someone that, much like yourselves, just likes to cook.

-Editor In Chief-

Bare Cuisine: Hotel Room Tortellini & Muffins

One of the ridiculous myths that keep people from entering their kitchens and cooking for themselves is a lack of technology. Their kitchens aren't loaded to the brim with fantastic gadgetry that specializes in the culinary advancement of the unwashed and exhausted. Because surely no one in this country can make bread without a bread machine, nor can they cook rice without a rice cooker. And being unable to afford such things is what keeps us loaded with microwave dinners and pizza rolls, instead of getting some kitchen skill. This is sadly how we think, and despite the fact that modern man got to this point without the help of such niceties, this is apparently not how we roll these days.

So, for those of you who claim that you don't have the proper equipment for making a decent meal, I present to you English comedian George Egg, who managed to make a quality meal without even having a kitchen


This is a hotel room people, there are no hot plates, no microwaves, and no cutting boards. And yet the job still got done. Were the results perfect? Probably not, but the man still managed to create a nice healthy meal without having to fork out big bucks for room service. That right there is a heck of an accomplishment.

So George Egg managed to make dinner in a hotel room with an iron and a kettle, what's keeping you?

Kitchen Mathmatics: Part II

Recently I spoke of the mathematics you’ll need to employ in the kitchen, to better understand how our time will be spent when we cook. It’s not meant to suggest that you’ll have to work really hard or wait for hours on end just to eat something. Fact of the matter is, you need only invest about five minutes of time if the height of your culinary aspiration is a peanut butter sandwich. However on the other side of the spectrum, you could throw that roast into an oven, cook it for five minutes, and then start eating it. I doubt the end result would be safe to eat, and would probably taste pretty gross, but it’s definitely within your means (that said, don’t do it!)

The purpose of our time in the kitchen is twofold:

• To cook the dish to completion
• To be pleased with the end result.

Cooking to completion is based completely on personal preference. Take for example, a good old fashioned steak. For those of us who love our cattle cooked medium rare, to completion takes on a different meaning than it does for those who love to burn their stuff to well done. But one thing we can all agree on is that cooked means something more than raw, so let’s just run with that shall we? So, we spend as much time as necessary to cook our food to a pleasing state of doneness.

The second purpose is what will make up the brunt of our kitchen time. A meal can be cooked to completion with very little fuss. Stick a piece of meat and a potato in the microwave and radiate the heck out of it for twenty or so minutes, and things will be cooked through. But I highly doubt that your dining experience will be a pleasurable one. In fact, I’m going to safely say that it’s going to trigger your gag reflex more than anything else.

So we invest more time into our food to make a more satisfying meal. And this can entail anything from chopping up vegetables to picking herbs, to making broths, and everything in between.

So how much time on average can we expect to spend in our kitchen? I would say for anything more intense than a sandwich, expect a minimum of a Rachael Ray-friendly 30 minutes. This counts everything from preparation to sitting down to eat the finished product. This number also assumes that we’re going for optimal quality, since there are ways to cut down this number, but it will be at the expense of taste.

As for the maximum amount of time you can spend in the kitchen, well the sky is the limit. It can be as little as an extra five minutes, or it can even reach into several days for some dishes (like coq au vin for example.) It really boils down to how much time you want to put into your meal. My attitude is that the more time you’re willing to spend on a dish, the better it’s going to be.

Now this doesn’t mean that cooking steaks for two hours straight on high heat will find a new nirvana of tastiness beyond burnt. It’s just going to be a different, more unpleasant, class of burnt. But you can invest more time in preparing good sides, or whipping up marinades for your wonderful steaks, season them early, let them reach room temperature, etc etc. Such things can only make the meal better.

But it’s going to come down to how much time you have available to spend, and your willingness to use it. For me, spending a bit more time to make an average meal special is a better use of my time than catching up on Simpson’s reruns. And I think, with a little know how and a bit of confidence, you’ll find yourself feeling the same way.

Kitchen Mathmatics

This blog assumes that you’re wanting to deviate away from microwavable dinners, quick heat packages, and canned sludge. It assumes that you’ve lost your taste for fast food and don’t really want to spend your hard-earned cash on eating out. If we are to proceed into this new world of culinary nirvana, we must be armed with new math.

You see, the laws of instant gratification that operate at the drive-thru do not work in the kitchen. Sacrifices of time and energy must be made if you are to make a meal that is good, and good is the key word here. The reason we’re steering clear of microwavables and take-out in the first place is because we want to have something that tastes better than microwaveables and take-out. If tasteless TV dinners suddenly sound more appealing to you than giving up your precious time, this would be a good opportunity to leave. For those who remain undaunted, here are the formulas you need to consider:

• Time-consuming preparation + quick but intensive cook time = Good food

• Quick but intensive preparation + time-consuming cook time = Good food

And no, there is no formula for quick preparation and quick cooking that equals good food. The only people who will tell you otherwise are companies that sell processed box dinners or useless kitchen gadgets. And the cost for dealing with any of them will be your hard-earned cash, something I consider self-defeating since one of the purposes of cooking at home is to save you some money. Now, there are plenty of dishes out in the world that have times between 20-30 minutes from start to finish, but typically you'll still see them getting lumped into either of these categories. And of course there are hybrid formulas involving medium preparation and medium cooking, but we’ll get to those another time.

The first formula considers dishes like stir fry, fajitas and burgers, where the brunt of your time is spent getting everything ready. Cook time for such dishes can happen in a matter of minutes, but they also require our constant attention. To abandon our post in favor of a little TV time can be the difference between a well cooked dish and something that’s been burnt to a crisp.

The second formula covers things like soups, stews, and roasts among other things. Cooking the dish can take up to several hours, but it’ll be pretty easy going. You can go catch up on some TV or read a few chapters of a book without having to do much to your dish. And there’s less of a likelihood that you will burn or damage your dish with this method. Of course, the catch is, you’re going to have to wait for the end result, and if you’re starving, then waiting several hours for dinner might not be in the cards. The other catch is while the preperation work isn’t difficult, it’s imperative to get everything right. This means having everything cut, portioned and set to our liking. Once all your ingredients go into the stew, there’s not going to be any chances for second thoughts.

Sounds complicated? It’s not. We just need to understand that creating a quality meal will take time. And it’s oftentimes more time than the fluffy cooks on Food Network are willing to acknowledge (they’ve got a whole team of prep cooks off camera, of course they’re going to say it’s quick and easy.) But it is time well spent, as long as you’re willing to dedicate a little effort and patience to the process.

Enjoying The Art Of Shopping

Clean, sparkly kitchens are only part of the equation. The other half is to have food in that kitchen to prepare. And for this, an expedition to a grocery store/local market is necessary. I can speak in great depth about where to shop and where to look (which I'm sure I will later,) but for now, let's discuss getting in the proper grocery shopping mentality.

Many of the avid cooks I know swear that wandering around their local market in search of foodstuffs is every bit as enjoyable as shopping for clothes, gadgets, or anything else that's exciting. And frankly, that's just how it should be. If we can't enjoy the process of buying tasty food, how are we ever going to enjoy the process of cooking it?

The problem is that most trips to the market have become a major pain. Huge lines of people, all tired and grumpy, clogging up the aisles, stripping the shelves of every decent looking thing that's on sale. And despite your best intentions of getting in and out quickly, you end up spending an hour in the store, most of which was spent just waiting in line. And by the time you do get out, you're frustrated, irritable, and would rather go grab a hot burger somewhere then ever endure that evil place again.

We've all been there, and can all agree this is an unpleasant situation that happens more than it should. So, we're gonna need a few tricks in our arsenal to keep the experience of food shopping enjoyable.

STEP 1: SHOP AFTER DINNER

That's right, eat your meal, clean up a little bit, then head for the store. By simply adjusting the time you shop for groceries, you have a number of things working in your favor:

• There are no lines. Oh sure, the store won't be completely abandoned, but it won't be anything near the chaos of the 5:00 post-work rush when everyone and their pets are hungry. This allows us to take our sweet time picking whatever we want, and lets us get out of the store when we would like to.

• We're not hungry. This means we're in a far better mood than the aforementioned 5:00 post-work crowd. We're not in a hurry to get home and stuff ourselves before our stomach starts to eat at it's own lining, and thus we can simply enjoy the experience by picking our ingredients in a relaxed fashion. The other advantage of not being hungry is that we're less likely to make that impromptu snack purchase. A person who's full isn't nearly as interested in potato chips and candy bars as a hungry person might be

• It gets us moving. Our natural temptation after stuffing ourselves to the gills with quality eats is to flop on the couch and lapse into unconsciousness. As you can imagine, this does not sit well with our bodies, who would like you nice and energetic to help break down all those nutrients. Hitting the couch post-dinner affects our metabolism, fat processing, and how we digest food. The healthy thing to do is take a little stroll after your meal. By doing your shopping, you are in fact killing two birds with one stone.

• The staff is in a better mood. If you frequent the deli, or need help trying to locate certain items, your friendly local grocery store employee is probably going to be a lot nicer after dinner. When 5:00 hits, these poor souls are running around like mad trying to get the huge amounts of people out the door. And your grocery store employee is used to sweating, getting yelled at, and treated like garbage at these times, which means he/she isn't going to be in the most pleasant of states. Once the panic has died down, these dedicated employees tend to be more helpful, more pleasant, and generally make the experience that much better.

• It gives you a few more culinary options. Even if you don't do anything but throw your meat in a pan with potatoes and cook until brown, it's nice to at least have the option to do more isn't it? If you're wanting to play with marinades, then it's advantageous to be able to do it the night before. And perhaps you can spend the night making sauces or chopping vegetables or other assorted mish-mash. Either way, it means less work for you tomorrow. And speaking of tomorrow....

• You can go straight home. Since you purchased everything last night, you don't have to fight with the crowds. You can just head home, prepare your meal, and enjoy a bit more of your evening.

STEP 2: KEEP THE SHOPPING LIST MELLOW

Obviously there are things that are must have on your shopping list. Cereals, basic vegetables, and breads are things that pretty much everyone buys, so you definitely want the essentials on your list. But, leave yourself a little room for exploration.

Take meat for example. Making the decision to buy pork chops before you walk into the store doesn't serve us well, because there are a number of factors to consider, like freshness, price, and good old fashioned craving. If you go to the store and find your pork chops looking a little sad and off color, priced 20 cents a pound above the norm, perhaps its time to rethink tomorrow's dinner. And besides, what about making a decision on what looks good? If we're buying stuff that looks really good and sounds like it would make a nice dinner, well then we're going to be that much more excited to cook it. Make tomorrow evening's meal an adventure. Browse through the meat department and let your creativity wander. Consider the following:

• What looks fresh today?
• Is there anything on sale?
• What sounds like it would be really good?

STEP 3: AVOID THE MAGAZINE AISLE

I see it all the time, a crowd of very well-meaning people crowding the magazine section, flipping through food magazines in search of ideas. Yes I know that the food looks good, and is causing a little inspiration to happen, but they usually tend to cause more stress in the end.

Here's how it plays out: The well-meaning person flips through the magazine, sees a pretty picture that looks tasty, and then they look at the huge list of ingredients that routinely averages the size of a VCR technical manual, and proceed to wander around the store in search of every single ingredient on that list. By the time they are finished, they are worn out, tired, and have a huge pile of spices and ingredients that they may never ever use again.

This is self defeating, and doesn't make for happy cooks. And this one of the reasons we here at CSD don't follow the recipe books. We are going to experiment at our own pace, regardless of what the fluffy TV chef's on Food Network say. So, avoid the temptation to browse through magazines to select tomorrow night's dinner. If the pull is just too great, then you may look at the pictures......but avoid the ingredient list and recipe like the plague.

Try these three simple steps to improve your grocery shopping experience

The Ultimate Mini Kitchen

Here's a fascinating multi-function design from Ensci. This bad boy takes care of a lot of your basic kitchen needs, like stovetop, oven, sink and storage, all while occupying a tiny footprint of your oh-so-valuable space. It has retractable countertops to increase counter space, and folds up nice and compact when not in use.

This is just a concept of course, with no word on whether it will ever reach the open market. For me, white definitely isn't my color, but I must admit the design is pretty intriguing. However, if space is at a premium in your domicile, then you may not have the room necessary to retract those nifty countertops. Plus there's the issue of price, which isn't listed but is very unlikely to be cheap. Certainly not within the range of the small home/cramped apartment dweller who might actually have some use for this.

Courtesy of Gizmodo.

The Perils Of A Dirty Kitchen

Still not convinced that a thorough cleaning of our kitchen is the way to go? Do you think that the inspirational ability of a clean kitchen motivating someone to cook more is overrated? Well then, let us consider the dangers you face every time you step foot in there.

CROSS CONTAMINATION

Would you like it if a raw chicken jumped up and rubbed itself inside your bowl before you ate cereal? Probably not, and yet in the average kitchen, people break down their chickens about three feet from where they keep their plates. This number drops dramatically when those plates are unwashed and crowding your counter tops. And while it's extremely unlikely that the aforementioned raw chicken will start molesting your plate, the message is clear; a dirty kitchen increases the chances of raw, old, and decomposing food coming in contact with whatever you're making. As does whatever unpleasantness that food happens to be carrying, like Salmonella, E. Coli, Listeria, and other such nastiness.

"But I keep them properly refrigerated and cook my meat all the way through!" you might say. Well, that's definitely a good start, but tell me, did you wipe down every surface that your meat touched? Did you throw your other ingredients on the same cutting board as your meat without cleaning it first? Did you cut or debone your meat? In each of these circumstances you're leaving a residual of your meat that is now at room temperature and very much in the danger zone. And anything that touches those surfaces becomes a potential source of food poisoning, which I think we can all agree is pretty unpleasant.

CLEAN FLOORS


Good rule of thumb, if you can see what's making your floor dirty, then it'll probably feel pretty gross and if you can't, then it's going to be ridiculously dangerous. There's always the risk of pouring water all over the place, and most kitchens keep things like oil and butter on hand, things that are pretty transparent should they land on the floor. All it takes is moving a little too quick through your kitchen to cause a slip, and considering the amount of counter top space available, cause some pretty serious damage to your person. Taking a mop to your floor once a week should be bare minimum! Three or four times a week is far more ideal, if not every single day.

Oh, and if you're floor happens to be this wet, it should go without saying that cleaning up should be priority one before anything else. Do remember that most of the appliances in your kitchen run on electricity, and we all know how well electricity and water get along.

SHARP THINGS


Isn't this a fun looking picture? Now imagine sticking your hand in this sink while your attention is diverted. Slashing your hand wide open is, generally speaking, a bad idea. And you're certainly going to lose your enthusiasm for cooking should this happen......which it shouldn't, because you're going to keep your kitchen clean right?

Bobby Flay Cooks For President Obama

I am no fan of Bobby Flay. I don't care for the man, or his cooking. Now if he is an inspiration and has taught you a great many things, then wonderful. I'm glad for any source that gets people into their kitchens. But, he does absolutely nothign for me personally. However, I couldn't help but smile at this video of Mr. Flay cooking with President Obama



This is just another fine example of how something so basic as cooking can bring people together. Even our president can always stand to learn something new about grilling a steak. No matter where you are in life, and what you do, there will always be food talk.

Keep on cooking!

The Dilemma Of Canned Goods

Since we've been discussing the optimization of one's kitchen, we should probably take a look at our pantries, which are most likely packed to the brink with stuff that looks just like this. Oftentimes, the canned goods can take up an entire cabinet or pantry's worth of space. So, the question must be asked: Do we really need all of this?

There are many reasons our cabinets are packed to capacity with non-perishable foodstuffs tucked in tin. The most common is pure tradition. Mom used to have tons of them, as did grandma, and it just became an unspoken accepted practice to do the same. When asked about it, the response is usually along the lines of "it's good to have for a rainy day."

The logic is sound, but bear in mind that mom and granny had rainy days that were significantly different from ours. Your mom probably had to live through the cold war, where stockpiling goods was a commonly promoted thing. And of course they had to suffer through a recession similar to the one we're in now, only without the luxury of a "dollar menu."

It's sad to say, but on our rainy days we're more likely going to order a pizza than crack open the stockpile of canned goods. Which means we've got a lot of food that we really have no intention of eating, taking up valuable space in our kitchens. Perhaps it's time to lighten the load.

Now CSD in no way suggests you completely rid yourself of all canned items in your possession. Simply to go through and filter out the things you're less than likely to use. Any item that you regularly eat and/or enjoy eating should stick around. And if the very idea of opening up that can and chomping on the contents makes your face scrunch up into a sour milk state, then it's probably best we get it as far away from us as possible. If you hate broccoli, then I guarantee you're going to really hate broccoli in a can. Having a well balanced stockpile of good in your pantry is meaningless if you don't eat it.

Here's a sampling of my ideal pantry and what canned goods it would contain:

• Spam
• Clams
• Tomatoes
  
• Mixed Fruits
• Evaporated & Condensed Milk
• Peaches
• Olives*
• Corned Beef*
• Pineapple*

(* denotes items that I wouldn't normally keep in my kitchen, but do so for the continuation of a happy relationship.)

Your item list may vary significantly. You may find the idea of eating spam utterly reprehensible, but I absolutely love the stuff when it's done right. Evaporated milk may not be the most tasty thing on a bowl of cereal, but it does wonders when making sauces or soups. And canned fruits are always tasty, and tend to be reasonably healthy as well. The goal is to have items on hand that you would want to make something out of. This way, you're less likely to go buy some fat and preservative loaded treat to munch on while you enjoy your rainy day.

Now, while I acknowledge that all people have different palettes, there are some canned foods that are simply a crime against nature. Here are some of my humble recommendations for items you should get rid of and never ever buy again:

CANNED TUNA

Sure it's healthy and a cheap source of proteins, but it tastes awful! Salty, briny, and very unpleasant to the palette. And people pour in tons of mayonnaise with their tuna to help remove some of that bitter taste, which also cancels out a lot of those health benefits. I can understand that times are hard, and one can't afford fresh tuna every day, but your body deserves better than that. And there are better alternatives out there....

CANNED BEANS

If you love beans, chances are good you buy them fresh and make them right. And if you hate beans, well then you're probably not going to eat them anyways are you?

CANNED CHILI

The mentality that holds true for beans holds true for chili. It's better when it's fresh and done yourself. And you don't pay that much of a premium for the real deal (in some ways it can even be cheaper,) so steer clear of the cans

CANNED PEAS AND CORN

As always, the real stuff tastes better and is usually cheaper than the cans. But, these two items are highly seasonal, which means you may not be able to buy fresh corn come November. The better alternative in this case, is to go frozen. One of the characteristics we enjoy so much about both corn and peas is the crispness, and that's not something you get from the canned variety. Being frozen retains the texture, and specifically in the case of peas, makes for a dining experience that is very similar to fresh.

CANNED SOUPS

Now bear with me on this one. I fully acknowledge that canned soup is basically a staple in this country, but this is a cooking blog, and I'm not here to talk about cooking stuff with clear instructions on the back of a can. I'm here to talk about making things that taste better than what you'd find in those cans. And I have never found a canned soup or stew that made me enjoy eating. I'm willing to guess that you haven't either. So, I relegate the canned stuff to something that is best made by hand.

Once you've made up your ideal list of canned items to keep, I would recommend keeping no more than 2-3 cans of each item. This would strike a good balance between having some backup food handy, and not creating to much excess clutter. Line each item up in neat rows to make locating it easier (I'm sure we've all seen the canned good shuffle from time to time, a person frantically pushing cans to the side looking for an item that "they know they had at least one more of.")

Feel free to share your canned experiences in the comments section below.

Your Cooking Environment

So, in order to inspire a bit of culinary initiative, we need to first start with our environment. If we're gonna dedicate ourselves to cooking more food in our homes, we need a setting that is conducive to a pleasurable experience. So, stand up and go take a look at your kitchen right now. Does it look anything like this?


If you've answered yes, then clearly your cooking environment needs some work.

We like our work spaces to be clean don't we? Of course we do. Clutter can suck the lifeblood out of any initiative we may be feeling. This means we're more prone to sit in the mess we made and do nothing, which is clearly unacceptable. So, if you can't get work done while sitting at a messy desk, then odds are you won't be able to cook for yourself in a messy kitchen. Therefore, this is the first thing we must fix.

STEP ONE: INITIAL CLEANING

So, take an afternoon, order a pizza if you must, and clean the heck out of your kitchen. We're talking floors mopped, counter-tops wiped, and all dishes washed, dried, and neatly put away. I want the place sparkling and smelling of bleach. This will be the hardest, and most unpleasant part of the job, but trust me when I say it is crucial. By starting with a clean environment, we can make the next part of this process that much easier to plan.

STEP TWO: DISPOSAL

This, despite being a little dirty, can actually be fun. It gives us the chance to make a clean slate, and honestly, how can you hate doing that? The idea here is to remake our kitchen into a place we'd actually like to spend time in. Remember, cooking should never feel like a prison sentence.

I'm sure many of you have caught the wide variety of remodeling programs on Fine Living, and have probably flipped through more than a few magazines of that ilk at your local bookstore. And I'm sure all of us have gone "ooh" and "aah" at this photos, and strongly desired to make our kitchen look that sharp. Well, if you have the money and time on hand to do so, I say go for it. Hire Ty Pennington if it's in the budget, and make yourself that photo-worthy kitchen you've been lusting after. Personally, I can't afford it, and I'm guessing neither can you. So let's talk about the things we can do without spending a dime (a price I'm sure everyone can appreciate.)

Did you know that the most popular wedding and/or housewarming gift is kitchen gadgets? Friends and family alike are always happy to give you a new set of spatulas or whisks or something that they figure you'll surely need. And usually, this means that you the recipient, will end up with tons of kitchen stuff that gets stuffed away in drawers because you're too nice to throw it out. And then one day you reach into your drawer to get a spoon and see this:


Just looking at this picture I can see at least half a dozen things you won't need. A good kitchen should run lean, utilizing only the most needed tools that can multitask for a variety of uses, and can be stored without too much effort. We want simple utensils, basic equipment, and none of that fancy stuff that gets peddled on late night infomercials.

So, how do we know which stuff we can get rid of? It's easy, just follow this guide.

KEEP THE GADGET IF:

It's something you actually use.

GET RID OF THE GADGET IF:

It is too uncomfortable to use.
It feels like it's cheap enough to break if you did use it.
It's something you find in the back of a drawer with a thick coating of dust on it.
The last time you handled the tool was when you stuffed it in the back of the drawer.
You have more than one of the gadget in question.

Toss all this culinary detritus into a box. From there you can give it to goodwill, or take it around the neighborhood, letting people pick items they're missing from their kitchens. Either way, we don't want it in our homes any more. Clearing out any unused tools and gadgets makes space for the stuff we do use. And space, is a very valuable commodity in the kitchen.

Once we've gotten rid of the tools, let's poke around the drawers for edibles. Do you have a drawer in the house that looks like this?


If you've just nodded embarrassingly, then you know that this will not do. We typically keep any food we plan on eating in either the refrigerator or on dedicated shelves/counter-tops that are within our line of sight. Food items that end up in a drawer are most likely to be forgotten. We're quicker to go buy ourselves a new bag of beans than use the bag we bought a year ago. But, mom always taught us not to throw any food that's still good away, so there those beans sit, getting older and older.

Let me assure you, you will never eat those beans. And even if you did, they'll probably taste so bad, you'll wish you hadn't. You can attempt to donate them to a food bank if you like, but it's probably easier to just throw them away. Either way, get all of that old stuff out of there. If the item in question has been sitting unopened for more than a month, I say it becomes fair game for the trash can. Remember, the idea here is to start fresh, and to build up the most effective kitchen we can, not to hold onto unusable remnants.

STEP THREE: REDECORATION

Once all of that stuff is out of your kitchen, you can now look at how to use all that wonderful space you've made for yourself. Feel free to be as pretty as you want (this would look nice here, and this would be oh-so cute here,) but do remember that efficiency is very important in the kitchen. And you want the things you use the most close at hand. So factor that into your redesign. Place similar items in similar drawers, making it easier to grab more than one thing at the same time. Move cookware and appliances to a comfortably close distance to the stove. If you have toast at every meal, it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to have the toaster reasonably close to where you put food on a plate. There are safety factors to be considered in all this, obviously we don't want any injuries in our nice refurbished kitchen, but I think you're all smart enough not to put flammable items near the heat, or electrical items too close to the sink. If in doubt about your appliances, follow the recommendations on your user manuals (which hopefully you still have. If you feel there is even the slightest chance that something could catch on fire, or cause an electrical spark because of proximity to water, it's best to not take any chances.

Clearly, this is not a process that can happen easily. It may require an entire weekend to do it completely right, but the rewards are well worth it. By the end of it all, you'll be standing in a kitchen that is clean, comfortable, and enjoyable to be in. And when you're staring at this shiny room filled with your hard work and accomplishment, I guarantee there will be a voice in your mind that says, "I'd kind of like to cook something now."

So, Why Aren't You Cooking?

I've heard all the excuses before. Every lingering reason as to why people refuse to cook for themselves, opting instead to load up on preservative-laden, quick, and easy food. These people continue to maliciously torture their bodies while making empty promises to "cook something tomorrow." I've heard your reasons, and I remain unconvinced.

Let's take a look at the three most common excuses people use to not cook for themselves shall we?

• IT TAKES TOO MUCH TIME
• IT COSTS TOO MUCH MONEY
• IT'S TOO HARD

Shenanigans people! Time is short for all of us, and yet everyone still manages to do the things in their lives that they need to get done. We pay our bills, keep our houses clean, and keep our vehicles maintained, so why can't we add cooking our own food to this? Now, allow me to debunk these lame excuses one by one.

IT COSTS TOO MUCH MONEY

I admit, there is some truth to this. It does take a little money to get started cooking. You will need some equipment that is specific to your kitchen, and while there is a way of doing it quite cheaply, I don't recommend it. The end result of using the cheapest gear that can be found in a mega-mart households section will be burnt food, hurt hands, and a pure unadulterated hatred for one's cooking space. So yeah, spending up is a good idea.

But it doesn't have to be ridiculously expensive either. You shouldn't have to be on a first name basis with the people at Williams Sonoma or anything. Take a moment and think about the people working at your favorite local restaurant. Now, unless you're regularly eating at Le Bernadin or Alinea, chances are good that restaurant isn't using top quality stuff either. Most restaurateurs simply can't afford spending $100+ on a single pan, and most hired cooks can't afford to outfit themselves with those sparkly big name knives and digital thermometers either. They make do with decent equipment that's within a functional budget. And you can do the same.

As for ingredients, well they can also be pricey. Artisan breads, specialty cheeses, and things like fois gras can break a budget in a single meal. Even the fluffy big toothed celebrities on Food Network, despite their claims of keeping things inexpensive, throw a few high cost items into the mix. It's almost like the powers that be are trying to force you to spend a lot just to eat right.

Well, I find that mentality completely unnecessary. My budget doesn't permit me the luxury of eating Filet Mingon every night either. In fact, if I'm eating Filet Mingon once a month, then it's been a pretty prosperous month. But I still manage to eat very well with the same inexpensive ingredients that you have access to. The idea here isn't to make food that looks as shiny and glorious as Emiril's the idea is just to make something.

IT TAKES TOO MUCH TIME

Yeah, I get it, you have a job. And you've probably got a spouse/roommate/significant other, and chances are good they've got a job too. This means that you come home after a long day, most likely after a long fight with traffic, feeling completely exhausted. And this doesn't even factor in kids. So, you might feel it's safe to say that you don't have the time to prepare a home-cooked meal.

Well then, let me ask you this: What do you do with the free time you do have?

If you've answered, "watch TV," then guess what? You have time to cook for yourself. Seriously, in the era of Tivo, there's nothing out there that you just can't watch a little later. And even if you don't have Tivo, most kitchens are conveniently built living room-adjacent, so it's not like you can't just sneak a peek from time to time. There are few dishes out there that involve your constant presence in the kitchen. So, it comes down to this, is American Idol really so important, that you'd stuff preservative rich quick foods in your gut just so you won't miss a second? If you answered yes to that question, I fear there may be little hope for you.

I think a lot of the problem is that going into the kitchen for a lot of people sort of feels like punishment. The cook has to go into this hot messy dungeon to slave away making food, while everyone else gets to have fun with their time. And I can see how this would be very discouraging. But I'm not an advocate of this lifestyle, I figure if I'm going to go into the kitchen to make a meal, then I want everyone to come with me.

The kitchen is the ultimate communal center. It's where people do away with formalities, stop being so darned polite, and just talk to each other. The kitchen has this unmistakable power to make something feel casual and fun. Perhaps it's the warm casual atmosphere of the kitchen, perhaps it's the comfort of being fed that the kitchen brings, and perhaps it's the fact that we all subconsciously know that no matter how clean the rest of our house is, blood and fat are mutilated often in this part of the home. Whatever the case may be, people like hanging out in the kitchen. I know that during the holidays, my family all hang out in the kitchen, chopping vegetables and laughing about nothing. I'm going to guess your family does things the same way.

So, the idea isn't to isolate yourselves alone in the kitchen while a hungry mob entertain themselves and wait for you to finish. The idea is to bring the mob with you. Bring your spouse/roommate/significant other with you. Assign them tasks to do for the meal, have them dry dishes while you wash them. Basically, cut your workload in half. And while they're there, it'd e a fine time to talk about your day, maybe trade a joke or two. If you've got kids, have them help you with the cooking. Not only will you be involved in their lives, they'll actually learn something in the process.

Either way, the goal is to make the time you spend in the kitchen fun.

IT'S TOO HARD

Nobody's asking you to whip up Michelin-grade food people. We needn't employ time intensive, gourmet-class techniques every time we set foot in our kitchens. There are tons of dishes out there that are no strain, easy to assemble, and also happen to taste really good. As I said before, the idea here isn't to whip up stuff that you'd expect to see in some high class restaurant (although you're more than welcome to if you're willing,) it's just to do some cooking. And of course, to make that cooking taste real good. None of these things are hard people.

Still not convinced? Do you still blankly stare at the local mega mart meat section and find yourselves in a panic because they don't know what all these different cuts of meat are?
Well, that's what this blog is here. Stay tuned.

Food is Joy

Take a moment and think back to some of the happiest memories of your life, I'm willing to bet that food was a big part of those memories you're having.

It's no surprise really, considering how big of a role food plays with us. The average human eats at least three times a day and, once you factor in snacking, typically a whole lot more. We are constantly eating, which means that it becomes highly likely that a happy moment in time will have food being apart of it.

And of course, there is the effect that food has on the human body. Firstly, having food means feeling full, and it's hard to be in a grouchy mood when you're full. The body's now preoccupied with utilizing all those tasty nutrients, and isn't so quick to fire of heaps of adrenaline to fuel the ornery tendencies. So, the more full you are, the happier you're gonna be (of course, there is a point of diminishing returns where being too full has a negative effect. I'm sure we've all been there.)

Food also comes in the form of climax. You see, we always want to feel quenched, so when we're hungry, we build up a great deal of subconscious anticipation. You know that agony you feel before Thanksgiving dinner, when you can smell everything cooking and just know you're gonna eat soon, but you still have to wait for it to be done? That's the stuff right there. And with anticipation comes climax, a joyous realization with that first bite of food that tells both the boy and mind, "Yay! I'm eating!"

And what good is a climax without a pleasurable outcome? A good meal creates a firing of endorphins in the brain, and endorphins are a wondrous thing indeed. You see, endorphins are like naturally produced opium, that are designed to help ease pain, relax the body, and make one feel pretty darn good. In this case, the pain of hunger is reduced, making way for the intake of sensation through seeing, smelling, and swallowing. Basically, you eat something good, and then your body makes you happy. How's that for math?

Now incorporate a bunch of people who are equally happy, eating the same good food with each other, and you have the makings for a very pleasant memory.

What's interesting is despite how common this process is, it takes different foodstuffs to create it. Your aunt's potato salad may be the nectar of the gods to you, but to me it's might just be potato salad. This isn't just because because we're different people with different electrical impulses and taste buds, it's also because our experiences are different. I ate grew up eating in a completely different way from you, and what I consider amazing food will be different as a result.

So, does that mean that a Big Mac can be a cultural milestone? Absolutely! Anything we eat can cause those same feelings of giddiness, and eventually nostalgia, but do remember that such milestones can and always do change. And like a great many things, food is only as good as how often you have it.

Returning to your aunt's potato salad, I'm going to guess half of what made it so good was the fact that she only made it for you during special occasions. It was one of those things that you looked forward to during celebrations and holidays. Now, had you eaten that same potato salad every single day, it wouldn't be so memorable anymore. As a youngster growing up, I lived in the country far detached from the urban lifestyle. This means that getting to have a Happy Meal was something I only did once in a big while. This made the event special, and boy those little cheeseburgers were some of the most magical things I had ever eaten.

Now? Not so much. Having gotten my fair share of McDonald's in my later years, I've completely burned myself out on whatever magic they may have held for me. They just don't taste as good as when I used to eat them sparingly. And also, I have since eaten way better burgers.

That's the other thing, the milestone shifts exponentially when the eats you're getting now are far better than what you were getting before. Suddenly going back doesn't make you as happy as it used to, now it's sort of a disappointment.

Sad as this sounds, it isn't a bad thing. It just means that you've opened a few more culinary doors and like what you've found. It also means that we have something to shoot for. Consider the people in your life, your friends, spouses or loved ones, perhaps a family of your own. Wouldn't it be something to create a milestone or two for their lives? Something in their hearts that will always remember you, and the happy time you gave them? It's something I shoot for every time I step foot into the kitchen, and wish for you to do the same.

About The Editor

I am not a chef.

I just want to say that right off the bat, I’ve not spent years toiling away in high class kitchens serving out dishes of gourmet food by the hundreds to hungry masses. I have no culinary education degree (at least not yet anyways,) and have never made a living out of food beyond running my dad’s ice cream shop when I was seven.

If you were seeking a grizzled old pro, or one of those fluffy celeb chefs that frequent Food Network to talk food with, I clearly am not your guy. I, much like you, am just someone who really likes to eat.

Food is one of my great passions. I spend a lot of time reading, watching food-related programming, and tucked away in my little dark kitchen practicing and experimenting. I have amassed a small handful of recipes that I feel confident I can deliver competently, and I’m crazy enough to eat just about anything. So, I tend to take great pride in what I put on a plate, and do my best to maintain a sense of humility with the volumes of stuff I don’t know yet. Put simply, I love to cook.

So what qualifies me to talk about cooking in a competent way? Well, if credentials is what you seek, I am an educator with several years in the field. I’ve taught people of all ages, for a variety of employers ranging from government to schools, to the impoverished nonprofits, a hefty variety of subjects. Subject matters include epidemiology, entomology, the water cycle and first aid, just to name a few. And I’ve had had to explain all these things to a wide range of people, and find some way of making them understand exactly what I’m getting at.

So, I figure that if people trust my ability to certify someone to administer CPR in an emergency situation, then I probably won’t be too bad talking about something that I actually like doing.

So, if my credibility is now shot in your eyes, this is probably the point we should bid each other farewell. I wish you the greatest in success of finding something out there that rings true for your culinary voice out on the big wide web.

For those of you that have decided to stick around, I think we’re gonna have a blast. I’m gonna throw everything I’ve picked up at you. And, still being a student of the culinary arts, anything new I learn, you’re gonna learn as well. So basically we’re all gonna get good at this together.

And I’m sure I’ll make mistakes. I’ll get my facts wrong, and probably make more than a few erroneous calls about the science of cooking. But, we’ll sort it all out as we go along. Don’t forget, life’s all about mistakes. Without them, we wouldn’t have anything to learn from. And it’s not about getting it perfect, it’s just to cook a little better and enjoy the results.

-Editor-in-chief-

Welcome To CSD

So, you've been wanting to cook have you?

Of course you have. Why else would you find yourself on this little website if a little culinary know-how wasn't on your mind? These days it seems like a lot of people are doing it. Many food based publications are considering it the new trend, and you the phrase "Staying home is the new eating out," has been thrown out on more than one occasion. Frankly, I'm not sure how I feel about something so integral to our culture and health as cooking for ourselves only recently becoming popular because of trends, but I'm just glad it's finally starting to happen.

Cooking for yourself is a thing of beauty. The simple act of stepping into one's kitchen and preparing a meal can go beyond sheer sustenance. Why, just the act of cooking can help relieve stress, inspire creativity, unite the family, and of course the end result of cooking is usually the eating, which isn't too bad either. The transformation of raw naturally produced materials into something so satisfying just by applying some heat can be astounding. It's a freakish science that few can explain, but all can enjoy.

And I won't lie to you, it will be tough. Cooking definitely comes with it's own bag of challenges. Bear in mind, we're dealing with unique equipment here, and raw ingredients that seem to change into something else when you warm them up. There's a reasonably high likelihood of failure here, and if one isn't careful, you could have a pile of over-salted, overcooked, bad tasting mush on your plate when all is said and done.

This is probably why you haven't been doing it right? You're a hungry person and really don't want to risk your precious time making something that's just gonna taste awful. It's been a lot easier to let someone else do it for you and guarantee the results. The programming on Food Network probably hasn't made it any easier. Oh sure, there are plenty of smiling faces shoving moderately attractive food into the camera, but it's nothing that's inspired you to get in your kitchen and make something.So where can a hungry, confused soul go to learn a few things about food, and maybe get inspired?

Well, why not start here?

CSD Foodstuffs was not designed to be the kind of places that waxes poetically about overpriced ingredients like truffles or saffron, it's not a place that highlights the top names in high-cost kitchen gear, nor is it about showing off wonderous picture of food that other people have made.

We're here to talk about cooking at it's most basic level. CSD Foodstuffs acknowledges that you are an intelligent person and already have some experience with cooking. Perhaps you're not a culinary pioneer (yet,) but you certainly know how things work. And we've all got culinary history built into us through mothers and grandmothers who've had specialty recipes that excited us every time they were whipped up. And, considering how much we eat, we've got plenty of experience with the subject matter to know what tastes good. Humans are loaded with taste-buds and, assuming they haven’t been burned off with fast food yet, tend use them every single day. So this blog isn’t here to sell you a bunch of garbage you don’t need or load you up with recipe cards you’ll never use. No, we are here to inspire, and to educate. To provide you with the foundation to make any meal you make into something killer, and to create the desire to make those meals more often. We are here to cook.

So, get ready for a thrill ride into a culinary nirvana, spawned by your own two hands. It is time to cook something damnit!